Mad
by Shikala
Summary: AU- Hogwarts has a dance. Ginny talks too much. Run as fast as you can. Maybe you can escape yourself.


All The Things She Said Shikala Tsukino Tequila-Uzuki Notes: //Lyrics// ** memories ** A/N: This jumps around quite a bit. Bear with me. It's the memories of a girl in despair as she runs. And just runs.  
  
//All the things she said,// //All the things she said,//  
  
There was a flash of red.  
** "I'm so pissed off" ** Ginny Weasley ran as fast as she bloody well could.  
** "At who?" ** Where was a rock to hide under when she needed one?  
  
//Running through my head// //Running through my head//  
  
She could almost see where she was going.  
** "Well..." ** The doors to the great hall lay ahead.  
** "At... Me?" ** She burst through. Her steps echoed throughout the hollow hall. She hurtled across it, and into an adjacent corridor. She vaulted over a gaping window along the hall to land in the courtyard below.  
  
//All the things she said// //All the things she said// //Running through my head// //This is not enough//  
  
** "Harry, I'm so nervous... What do you think?"  
"I think you should ask her."  
"But- But- It's not that simple!"  
"Isn't it?" He asked, giving the youngest redhead, now fourteen, an expression that faintly reminded her of Professor Lupin.  
Ginny blushed and faltered. "Fine, but you're going to hide right behind that couch and listen." She ordered, pointing to the large sofa in front of the fire. The common room was nearly empty. She and Harry had come back early from breakfast, after Ginny had indicated the need to talk.  
Harry nodded and darted out of the way as the portrait hole opened. Ron climbed in, followed by Hermione, Dean and Seamus, and two seventh- years, which were quietly quarreling.  
  
//I'm in serious shit//  
  
"Let's go, then!" Said Seamus, running up the stairs and dragging Dean along with him. The seventh-year-boys followed, still arguing. "Ron, come on!" He called from the top of the steps. Hermione came over and stood near Ginny, watching the boys. Seamus had grabbed a hat and warm cloak. He was still dragging Dean, who was clutching similar clothes. Ron hurried after them, pulling on his cloak and stumbling down the stairs. He caught himself as he regained his sight, and called "'Bye, 'Mione, 'bye, Gin!" as he dashed out.  
Ginny looked to Hermione.  
"Quidditch." She said simply.  
Ginny nodded and sat down on the couch a few feet away. She motioned for her to do the same. She did.  
"So, Gin, how's life?"  
  
//I feel totally lost.//  
  
"Eh, I dunno..." She fidgeted again, studying her feet. She heard Harry shift slightly behind her.  
  
//If I'm asking for help it's only because//  
  
"Hey, 'Mione,"  
  
//Being with you//  
  
"Something up?" She replied, concerned.  
  
//Has opened my eyes.//  
  
"The Yule Ball's commin' up."  
  
//Could I ever believe//  
  
"Already? That means I've got two tests right before..."  
  
//Such a perfect surprise?//  
  
Ginny smiled. "I want to go, but I don't know many people... I was wondering..."  
  
//I keep asking myself, wondering how.//  
  
"Could you hang out with me... You know...And..."  
  
//I keep closing my eyes, but I can't block you out.//  
  
"Oh, yeah. Sure." She said, smiling and nodding.  
  
//Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me.// //Nobody else, so we can be free.//  
  
"Thank you so much!"  
"It's no problem, really!"  
Ginny smiled. **  
  
//All the things she said,// //All the things she said,// //Running through my head// //Running through my head// //All the things she said // //All the things she said// //Running through my head// //This is not enough//  
  
The youngest Weasley headed for the tree by the lake, still going full- speed. She tripped over a root, fell flat of her face, and stayed there. She let the tears flow, and thought-- which mainly entailed cursing herself, and just cursing.  
  
** Ginny watched from her seat in the corner of the room. Hermione had been sitting with her for ten minutes when a Ravenclaw had asked her to dance, and for an hour since, she'd been asked by three other guys, and Ron four times himself. Harry came over and sat with her. they'd been sitting together wordlessly for about forty-five minutes. When another song started up, Ron and 'Mione continued dancing.  
"Harry," Ginny said miserably.  
"Common room?" He suggested.  
"Yes." She instantly replied. **  
  
//And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed.// //They say it's my fault, but I want her so much...//  
  
** "Harry! Har~~y~!! Did you hear it? It's like a date! It's wonderful!" Ginny was hopping up and down in excitement. Harry was sitting on the arm of the couch. He didn't look at her. Ginny didn't notice. **  
  
//Wanna fly her away where the sun and the rain//  
  
** "I'm so pissed off."  
  
//Come in over my face,//  
  
"At who?" Ginny looked tentatively toward the other girl, fear in her eyes.  
"Well..."  
"At... Me?" **  
  
** "Weasley!" Draco Malfoy's loud voice carried over to the pair sitting in the corner. "What, you a bloody lesbian now? Waiting for Princess Granger to come back to you?" **  
  
//Wash away all the shame.//  
  
Ginny decided it was time to get up. Her chest and face hurt. She looked out over the water to see the giant squid receiving a sandwich from a giggling second-year girl with blond pigtails.  
  
** Everyone within earshot of Draco's comment had their eyes on Ginny, waiting to see what she would do.  
Draco went on, "Maybe I should go tell her that she stood you up. Does she even know?" He sneered.  
  
//When they stop and stare; don't worry me.//  
  
It was more than the two Gryffindors could handle. Harry had his wand out and ready, but was pulled by a very strong force in another direction. Ginny had grabbed him, and nearly flew down the hallways, Harry at her side. **  
  
//'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me.//  
  
A fresh wave of tears surfaced as she thought of how hard she had worked to convince herself that she could actually be with Hermione.  
  
** "It's like a date! It's wonderful!" **  
  
//I can try to pretend, //  
  
** Neville approached her as she reached the common room. "What's wrong, Ginny?"  
"Wrong? Nothing! I-I just got bored at the ball, you know..." **  
  
//I can try to forget, //  
  
Ginny sobbed once, loudly.  
  
//But it's driving me mad, going out of my head!//  
  
** "At... Me?"  
Hermione looked uncomfortable for a moment, before bursting out with, "Why did you say it was a date?"  
Ginny's fears were confirmed, and she sadly looked away. "I- I just- ...I didn't really-" **  
  
//Mother looking at me,// //Tell me, what do you see?// //Yes, I've lost my mind.//  
  
She couldn't imagine what Ron was going to say. Would he owl Mum?  
  
//Daddy looking at me,// //Will I ever be free?// //Have I crossed the line?//  
  
Would Dad send a Howler? She slipped further into despair as she rolled away from the tree and onto her back. She had her eyes closed, and mentally refused to open them. The sun was at just the right angle that she had to squint, even with closed eyes. Oh, this had not been a pleasant weekend. The confrontation with Hermione was just this morning, and she had fled fifteen minutes ago. She was thankful for the rather notable lack of snow this year. A shadow moved in front of her face, shielding it from the sun. She was thankful for a moment, before it occurred to her that she had rolled out of the tree's shade. She opened her eyes- "Hullo, Gin." --And immediately wished she hadn't. "Um, 'lo...'Mione." She said quietly. "Get up, you silly girl." The older girl responded, offering her hand. With a brief moment of hesitation, she accepted it, and was pulled to her feet, and immediately began, "I'm so sorry, 'Mi-" "I just want to say, I carry no grudges." Hermione looked sadly into her friend's eyes. "...Thank you." Ginny said, head lowered. Hermione stepped foreword and offered an embrace to show forgiveness. Ginny accepted it, and for the first time since she had exited the castle, felt warmth. Hermione turned and went back to the castle, leaving Ginny to watch her leave, and eventually sit back down and watch the squid swim around. A voice floated back to her on the wind: "Bloody lesbian." This time, Ginny answered. "Fuck you, Malfoy."  
  
Owari~ 


End file.
